Tom Champoux, president of Effectiveness Institute, challenges the definition of truth and the types of lies we tell each other, both which ultimately hurt our professional relationships.
Over the last half-century, we have successfully “learned” that not telling the truth is ok – as long as it is not a lie! Interesting position to take since it is clear that any relationship, personal or professional, is based on telling the truth. Ask anyone you know: lies hurt, lies destroy, and lies make healthy relationships impossible. So how did we come to accept not telling the truth?
Post WWII moved us from a collaborative to a competitive culture. A collaborative culture demands truth, a competitive culture restricts it – as long as it is not a lie. The philosopher, Tom Morris, in his book If Aristotle Ran General Motors, helps to clarify the distinction. There are two kinds of lies: the overt lie (lie of commission) and the covert lie (lie of omission). It is the 2nd lie (lie of omission) that a competitive culture has helped us rationalize into existence. Can’t you just hear the conversation: “Why didn’t you tell me about this?” “I didn’t tell you because it would make me look bad – but I DIDN’T LIE. The lie of omission hurts everyone because it eradicates trust, the basic building block for healthy relationships. Without healthy relationships built on trust, the ability to risk, to be creative in the face of change is near impossible. Competition (use information to your advantage, withhold if necessary) increases; collaboration (open access to all the variables that impact success) decreases.
So how do we get out of this predicament? Same way we got in – gradually. We have to ask questions that surface covert lies (Is there anything that you haven’t told me that I need to be prepared for? Are there any surprises that may arise that would negatively impact your credibility?) It must begin with self. We must tell the truth. We must demand the same from others. To be collaborative to achieve a successful solution demands the truth. No omissions for “the lie swiftly ruins the liar” (Marcilio Ficino). It begins simply – you and me embracing and telling each other the truth – no exceptions. That may take developing new skills.
Trusting your co-workers, valuing integrity in the workplace and challenging the expected ‘norm’ in today’s business culture are all topics addressed by Tom Champoux and Effectiveness Institute workshops and consulting.
