Comments for Tom Champoux http://www.tomchampoux.org Dynamic Speaker and Energizing Trainer Thu, 08 Sep 2011 22:15:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 Comment on Getting Promoted by Dawn Poteau http://www.tomchampoux.org/getting-promoted.html/comment-page-1#comment-225 Dawn Poteau Thu, 08 Sep 2011 22:15:00 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=494#comment-225 Tom, Great reminder! Listen, involve, share, ask and appreciate those around you! Words to live by for leaders. Dawn Tom,

Great reminder! Listen, involve, share, ask and appreciate those around you! Words to live by for leaders.

Dawn

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]]> Comment on Male and Female Brains: Behavioral Differences at Work by Leslie http://www.tomchampoux.org/male-and-female-brain-differences.html/comment-page-1#comment-219 Leslie Mon, 11 Jul 2011 23:33:06 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=451#comment-219 It's interesting and refreshing that a Scientist would say, "I don't know." It’s interesting and refreshing that a Scientist would say, “I don’t know.”

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]]> Comment on What Do We Want From Leaders? by Vickie Woo http://www.tomchampoux.org/what-do-we-want-from-leaders.html/comment-page-1#comment-195 Vickie Woo Sat, 30 Apr 2011 19:58:20 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=161#comment-195 I especially like the references to leaders being learners and teachers, two roles that people often forget are part and parcel of effective leadership. I especially like the references to leaders being learners and teachers, two roles that people often forget are part and parcel of effective leadership.

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]]> Comment on What Do We Want From Leaders? by Julie http://www.tomchampoux.org/what-do-we-want-from-leaders.html/comment-page-1#comment-194 Julie Sat, 30 Apr 2011 14:36:45 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=161#comment-194 I love the references to "being grounded". This instills confidence in leadership and, as you said, a true desire to follow through with requests made. Another word that comes to mind with the values aspect is "integrity". I think this is another word for what you defined, and is far more valuable than decision making or management ability. Great thoughts--thanks, Tom! I love the references to “being grounded”. This instills confidence in leadership and, as you said, a true desire to follow through with requests made. Another word that comes to mind with the values aspect is “integrity”. I think this is another word for what you defined, and is far more valuable than decision making or management ability. Great thoughts–thanks, Tom!

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]]> Comment on Letting Go and Beginning Again by Julie Bradshaw http://www.tomchampoux.org/letting-go-and-beginning-again.html/comment-page-1#comment-167 Julie Bradshaw Wed, 06 Apr 2011 17:33:55 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=151#comment-167 I love the image of the green grass next to the rich brown soil that you included at the top. Both are beautiful, serve different purposes, and both have a SEASON. I think part of being open to change is learning to be grateful for what you have while knowing it will not last forever. That way we can be excited about what might be around the corner! The alternative is a stagnant lifestyle, lacking in growth. The image for that would be dead grass and hard, dry soil. I choose the picture above... I love the image of the green grass next to the rich brown soil that you included at the top. Both are beautiful, serve different purposes, and both have a SEASON. I think part of being open to change is learning to be grateful for what you have while knowing it will not last forever. That way we can be excited about what might be around the corner! The alternative is a stagnant lifestyle, lacking in growth. The image for that would be dead grass and hard, dry soil. I choose the picture above…

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]]> Comment on Letting Go and Beginning Again by Dina http://www.tomchampoux.org/letting-go-and-beginning-again.html/comment-page-1#comment-166 Dina Wed, 06 Apr 2011 17:31:18 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=151#comment-166 Wow! I have recently made a significant decision in my life. I now know that it was the right one! Wow! I have recently made a significant decision in my life. I now know that it was the right one!

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]]> Comment on Frame of Reference REVISITED: A Father’s Love by Julie Bradshaw http://www.tomchampoux.org/frame-of-reference-revisited-a-father%e2%80%99s-love.html/comment-page-1#comment-160 Julie Bradshaw Sun, 03 Oct 2010 22:58:11 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=430#comment-160 This story reminds me of the many people who, in the face of terrible tragedy and loss, especially those that were preventable, choose to forgive perpetrators and/or the carelessness of folks who cause their intense pain. Instead of carrying anger, disgust, and blame, they choose to look with grateful eyes at the bigger picture. Choosing a frame of reference outside of ourselves allows for growth, and for the restoration of joy. Thanks for reminding us of this, Tom. This story reminds me of the many people who, in the face of terrible tragedy and loss, especially those that were preventable, choose to forgive perpetrators and/or the carelessness of folks who cause their intense pain. Instead of carrying anger, disgust, and blame, they choose to look with grateful eyes at the bigger picture. Choosing a frame of reference outside of ourselves allows for growth, and for the restoration of joy. Thanks for reminding us of this, Tom.

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]]> Comment on Frame of Reference REVISITED: A Father’s Love by Cash http://www.tomchampoux.org/frame-of-reference-revisited-a-father%e2%80%99s-love.html/comment-page-1#comment-158 Cash Thu, 30 Sep 2010 02:01:37 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=430#comment-158 I can think of no greater loss than of losing a child. To choose a positive approach to this tragedy shows amazing strength and courage. I can think of no greater loss than of losing a child. To choose a positive approach to this tragedy shows amazing strength and courage.

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]]> Comment on Frame of Reference REVISITED: A Father’s Love by Louise http://www.tomchampoux.org/frame-of-reference-revisited-a-father%e2%80%99s-love.html/comment-page-1#comment-157 Louise Tue, 28 Sep 2010 21:28:48 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=430#comment-157 Hi Tom, Thanks for the crucial reminder about the power of choice. Best to you and all our friends at TEI Hi Tom,
Thanks for the crucial reminder about the power of choice.
Best to you and all our friends at TEI

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]]> Comment on Simple, but not easy by Richard http://www.tomchampoux.org/simple-but-not-easy.html/comment-page-1#comment-72 Richard Fri, 16 Jul 2010 14:20:11 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=422#comment-72 God blessed us with grandchildren. My three, ages 2,3&5 help keep me energized and living with passion in my work and in my personal life. Tom, I found your blog "How Behavior Styles Are Not Stereotyping" to be very helpful, thanks God blessed us with grandchildren. My three, ages 2,3&5 help
keep me energized and living with passion in my work and in my
personal life. Tom, I found your blog “How Behavior Styles Are
Not Stereotyping” to be very helpful, thanks

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]]> Comment on Simple, but not easy by Vickie http://www.tomchampoux.org/simple-but-not-easy.html/comment-page-1#comment-59 Vickie Thu, 15 Jul 2010 01:05:42 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=422#comment-59 What a great reminder. It doesn't take much these days to make one seemingly spin out of control. Remembering to focus on what you DO have control over is a terrific way to keep your perspective. Sometimes I say to myself, "It could be worse." What a great reminder. It doesn’t take much these days to make one seemingly spin out of control. Remembering to focus on what you DO have control over is a terrific way to keep your perspective. Sometimes I say to myself, “It could be worse.”

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]]> Comment on Simple, but not easy by Diana http://www.tomchampoux.org/simple-but-not-easy.html/comment-page-1#comment-58 Diana Wed, 14 Jul 2010 22:42:51 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=422#comment-58 Yes, simple but not easy. Thanks for the reminder to stop and re-connect to what is truely important. Yes, simple but not easy. Thanks for the reminder to stop and re-connect to what is truely important.

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]]> Comment on Simple, but not easy by Jules http://www.tomchampoux.org/simple-but-not-easy.html/comment-page-1#comment-55 Jules Wed, 14 Jul 2010 21:06:24 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=422#comment-55 Beautiful use of your personal side to identify the universal truth of "letting go and letting God". Love it. Beautiful use of your personal side to identify the universal truth of “letting go and letting God”. Love it.

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]]> Comment on Simple, but not easy by Louise http://www.tomchampoux.org/simple-but-not-easy.html/comment-page-1#comment-54 Louise Wed, 14 Jul 2010 20:23:34 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=422#comment-54 Thank you for sharing your thoughts and family moments. It is so important to acknowledge the current difficulties without getting bogged down in negativity. Great photos - lovely grandchildren! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and family moments. It is so important to acknowledge the current difficulties without getting bogged down in negativity.
Great photos – lovely grandchildren!

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]]> Comment on Simple, but not easy by Alicia http://www.tomchampoux.org/simple-but-not-easy.html/comment-page-1#comment-53 Alicia Wed, 14 Jul 2010 19:53:03 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=422#comment-53 What you say is so true. I love the pictures of the kids - it is the perfect reminder of what is important in our lives. Enjoy the grandkids! What you say is so true. I love the pictures of the kids – it is the perfect reminder of what is important in our lives. Enjoy the grandkids!

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]]> Comment on Simple, but not easy by Scott http://www.tomchampoux.org/simple-but-not-easy.html/comment-page-1#comment-52 Scott Wed, 14 Jul 2010 18:09:40 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=422#comment-52 Great reminder about balance. Things get moving so fast it's easy to forget the importance. Great reminder about balance. Things get moving so fast it’s easy to forget the importance.

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]]> Comment on How are Behavior Styles not stereotyping? by sue http://www.tomchampoux.org/how-are-behavior-styles-not-stereotyping.html/comment-page-1#comment-48 sue Thu, 01 Jul 2010 20:22:53 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=212#comment-48 The power within ourselves, to adjust our own behavior is what will bring us peace in our workplace The power within ourselves, to adjust our own behavior is what will bring us peace in our workplace

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]]> Comment on Aaahh … that is what balance means? by TomChampoux http://www.tomchampoux.org/balance.html/comment-page-1#comment-47 TomChampoux Tue, 29 Jun 2010 15:48:53 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=398#comment-47 Response from Tom: Great questions all…and there is no easy answer for any of them but I want to share my thoughts. When a team or a team member is out of balance, there is a price tag. When the team (team member) is out of balance, it does impact productivity…always a short term burst of energy and effort is followed by a downturn in both. Errors in judgment, errors in production, inability to rest/sleep well, emotions/reactions close to the surface – all have a negative impact and bring on a sense of loss of control. The primary protection for an individual/team is to reduce/shut down thinking and caring with resulting robotic behavior. The impact: an increasing sense of “I can’t make a difference.” There is a stress price tag for this behavior. In short term crises, we will find energy and a way to get through it…but it is not sustainable, even if I want it to be. The body simply runs out of fuel. The role of the manager is critical at this point in time. From the middle position, the manager has to influence up and influence down at the same time. The team needs continual positive communication…and lots of it (“I know this is tough. We are going to get through this. We are the ones who are going to make a difference. We are going to get through this.”) It is easier to pull a rope than push one. Influencing up is equally as important. Senior leadership will not see the pain or robotic behavior as they are too busy trying to lead in turbulent times. They will say the words, but not know the pain. It takes courage to raise the balance issue but if the manager does not do it, the awareness will not be apparent to senior management…they are fighting survival battles as well, just different ones. Most of us don’t listen very well when survival is involved so it is a manager’s responsibility to raise the balance issue. A 30 minute ice cream break with genuine appreciation from senior executives makes a huge difference. The team is valued, the leader can share the message that we are gaining and we must not let down now. A new freshness is reborn and the journey is rejoined – and a sense of we are in control returns. The 30 minutes is more than made up as attitude and perceptions are influenced by the message “we are in this together and we are going to make it.” The final step after influencing up and influencing down is for the manager to go to their rebalance place - and do likewise. It is not possible to give what you do not have. Into the mountains, down to the water or simply time by yourself - throughout history these are places to regenerate, rebalance and renew so you can start over again tomorrow. It is simple, just not easy. Response from Tom:

Great questions all…and there is no easy answer for any of them but I want to share my thoughts. When a team or a team member is out of balance, there is a price tag. When the team (team member) is out of balance, it does impact productivity…always a short term burst of energy and effort is followed by a downturn in both. Errors in judgment, errors in production, inability to rest/sleep well, emotions/reactions close to the surface – all have a negative impact and bring on a sense of loss of control. The primary protection for an individual/team is to reduce/shut down thinking and caring with resulting robotic behavior. The impact: an increasing sense of “I can’t make a difference.” There is a stress price tag for this behavior. In short term crises, we will find energy and a way to get through it…but it is not sustainable, even if I want it to be. The body simply runs out of fuel.

The role of the manager is critical at this point in time. From the middle position, the manager has to influence up and influence down at the same time. The team needs continual positive communication…and lots of it (“I know this is tough. We are going to get through this. We are the ones who are going to make a difference. We are going to get through this.”) It is easier to pull a rope than push one.

Influencing up is equally as important. Senior leadership will not see the pain or robotic behavior as they are too busy trying to lead in turbulent times. They will say the words, but not know the pain. It takes courage to raise the balance issue but if the manager does not do it, the awareness will not be apparent to senior management…they are fighting survival battles as well, just different ones. Most of us don’t listen very well when survival is involved so it is a manager’s responsibility to raise the balance issue. A 30 minute ice cream break with genuine appreciation from senior executives makes a huge difference. The team is valued, the leader can share the message that we are gaining and we must not let down now. A new freshness is reborn and the journey is rejoined – and a sense of we are in control returns. The 30 minutes is more than made up as attitude and perceptions are influenced by the message “we are in this together and we are going to make it.”

The final step after influencing up and influencing down is for the manager to go to their rebalance place – and do likewise. It is not possible to give what you do not have. Into the mountains, down to the water or simply time by yourself – throughout history these are places to regenerate, rebalance and renew so you can start over again tomorrow. It is simple, just not easy.

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]]> Comment on Aaahh … that is what balance means? by Andrea Clough http://www.tomchampoux.org/balance.html/comment-page-1#comment-46 Andrea Clough Fri, 25 Jun 2010 22:44:37 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=398#comment-46 Hi Tom, I agree with you that balance is very important both in our personal and professional life. But I have a few questions for you: How do we bring more balance into our work environment? I refer to cases when it is obvious and vital that the team need to reset its objectives to find a new balancing point. Should the balance be initiated from the bottom up or the top down? As a manager, should you focus on understanding each team members’ level of balance (and need for it) or should you just make sure that the whole team is in balance? Thanks, Andrea Hi Tom,

I agree with you that balance is very important both in our personal and professional life. But I have a few questions for you: How do we bring more balance into our work environment? I refer to cases when it is obvious and vital that the team need to reset its objectives to find a new balancing point. Should the balance be initiated from the bottom up or the top down? As a manager, should you focus on understanding each team members’ level of balance (and need for it) or should you just make sure that the whole team is in balance?

Thanks, Andrea

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]]> Comment on Aaahh … that is what balance means? by Nick Hughes http://www.tomchampoux.org/balance.html/comment-page-1#comment-45 Nick Hughes Thu, 24 Jun 2010 21:22:58 +0000 http://www.tomchampoux.org/?p=398#comment-45 Thanks Tom. Balance is something of ideal in our lives, yet it seems just as we find it... something hits us to disrupt it once again. I guess it is a part of life, the strive to constantly keep things in healthy perspective and balance. I like what Fred Wilson has to say about being present: http://www.avc.com/a_vc/2010/06/being-present.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+AVc+%28A+VC%29 Notice his take on balance, especially involving the personal vs professional aspects of our life. Good Stuff for the constant achiever. Thanks Tom. Balance is something of ideal in our lives, yet it seems just as we find it… something hits us to disrupt it once again. I guess it is a part of life, the strive to constantly keep things in healthy perspective and balance. I like what Fred Wilson has to say about being present:

http://www.avc.com/a_vc/2010/06/being-present.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+AVc+%28A+VC%29

Notice his take on balance, especially involving the personal vs professional aspects of our life. Good Stuff for the constant achiever.

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]]> Comment on First Things First by TomChampoux http://www.tomchampoux.org/first-things-first.html/comment-page-1#comment-44 TomChampoux Wed, 26 May 2010 23:12:41 +0000 http://lawyersocialmediamarketing.com/blog/?p=25#comment-44 Response by Tom Champoux: This is a good question...application at its best...where the rubber meets the road. Here are my thoughts: WHAT: Bottom line, you have to share that trust has been impacted negatively. Your behavior will clearly indicate that truth and if you do not clarify the message, the person will end up trying to guess or speculate what is going on. That places doubt squarely in the middle of the relationship – not a good thing as it will act as a multiplier of broken trust. HOW: This is the tricky part. Several variables are involved. What is the nature of the relationship? (New/old? Strong/weak? Work/personal? Who has the power? How severe are the consequences?) I suggest softening the conversation by substituting the phrase “rely on.” e.g. “when XX happens, and it is different than what we agreed to, it makes it difficult for me to rely on your word going forward.” If the response is “don’t you trust me?” the answer is “I did not say that. I said it is difficult to rely on you when your word changes. If that pattern continues however, it would definitely impact my ability to trust you. Right now, it is impacting my ability to rely on you. Clear, crisp, honest, transparent – the pathway to a relationship where trust is mutual. --Tom Champoux Response by Tom Champoux:

This is a good question…application at its best…where the rubber meets the road. Here are my thoughts:

WHAT: Bottom line, you have to share that trust has been impacted negatively. Your behavior will clearly indicate that truth and if you do not clarify the message, the person will end up trying to guess or speculate what is going on. That places doubt squarely in the middle of the relationship – not a good thing as it will act as a multiplier of broken trust.

HOW: This is the tricky part. Several variables are involved. What is the nature of the relationship? (New/old? Strong/weak? Work/personal? Who has the power? How severe are the consequences?) I suggest softening the conversation by substituting the phrase “rely on.” e.g. “when XX happens, and it is different than what we agreed to, it makes it difficult for me to rely on your word going forward.” If the response is “don’t you trust me?” the answer is “I did not say that. I said it is difficult to rely on you when your word changes. If that pattern continues however, it would definitely impact my ability to trust you. Right now, it is impacting my ability to rely on you.

Clear, crisp, honest, transparent – the pathway to a relationship where trust is mutual.
–Tom Champoux

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]]> Comment on When the organizational processes don’t reinforce respect and dignity by TomChampoux http://www.tomchampoux.org/organizational-processes-don%e2%80%99t-reinforce-respect-and-dignity.html/comment-page-1#comment-43 TomChampoux Wed, 26 May 2010 23:03:05 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=187#comment-43 Response from Tom Champoux: Very difficult position to be in with no clear cut answer. All we can say is “here is what I hope I would do.” In the reality of the moment; emotion, fact, urgency and perception all directly impact what I would do. I like the visual of a teeter-totter to illustrate this difficult decision, this delicate balance. There are three delicate balances involved: long term/short term, winning/playing fair, personal/professional. If I focus only on short term, then I suffer long term. The opposite is also true. Do I honor my values and leave at the expense of my commitment to my family, my spouse as a provider or do I honor my commitment as a provider for my family and stay here at the sacrifice of my personal values? Not an easy decision. Do I honor my personal integrity or do I honor my professional integrity? Does winning mean I stay or I go? Does playing fair mean I stay or I go? All depends on my frame of reference – my emotions, the facts I have to work with, the level of urgency about one belief versus the other belief of what perceptions/filters should I use. Rationalization is an automatic psychological response to help me stay “safe”, stay in balance. All the variables arrange to balance the teeter-totter the way I think is right. The variables may rearrange themselves tomorrow and I would make a different decision to achieve balance for my self and my values. As I suggested, not an easy answer to sustain the delicate balance between opposing variables. I do know this: any animal being cornered and facing death will turn and attack. Accordingly, this is why I say “here is what I hope I would do.” Response from Tom Champoux:

Very difficult position to be in with no clear cut answer. All we can say is “here is what I hope I would do.” In the reality of the moment; emotion, fact, urgency and perception all directly impact what I would do.

I like the visual of a teeter-totter to illustrate this difficult decision, this delicate balance. There are three delicate balances involved: long term/short term, winning/playing fair, personal/professional. If I focus only on short term, then I suffer long term. The opposite is also true. Do I honor my values and leave at the expense of my commitment to my family, my spouse as a provider or do I honor my commitment as a provider for my family and stay here at the sacrifice of my personal values? Not an easy decision. Do I honor my personal integrity or do I honor my professional integrity? Does winning mean I stay or I go? Does playing fair mean I stay or I go? All depends on my frame of reference – my emotions, the facts I have to work with, the level of urgency about one belief versus the other belief of what perceptions/filters should I use.

Rationalization is an automatic psychological response to help me stay “safe”, stay in balance. All the variables arrange to balance the teeter-totter the way I think is right. The variables may rearrange themselves tomorrow and I would make a different decision to achieve balance for my self and my values. As I suggested, not an easy answer to sustain the delicate balance between opposing variables. I do know this: any animal being cornered and facing death will turn and attack. Accordingly, this is why I say “here is what I hope I would do.”

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]]> Comment on First Things First by Melissa http://www.tomchampoux.org/first-things-first.html/comment-page-1#comment-42 Melissa Tue, 25 May 2010 18:36:46 +0000 http://lawyersocialmediamarketing.com/blog/?p=25#comment-42 Once trust is broken, is it wise to tell the person directly that you don't trust them and you will have to work together to build that trust back? I am thinking as an HR Manager not trusting and employee. Or is it better not to state that truth? Once trust is broken, is it wise to tell the person directly that you don’t trust them and you will have to work together to build that trust back? I am thinking as an HR Manager not trusting and employee. Or is it better not to state that truth?

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]]> Comment on When the organizational processes don’t reinforce respect and dignity by Saeid Vehjati http://www.tomchampoux.org/organizational-processes-don%e2%80%99t-reinforce-respect-and-dignity.html/comment-page-1#comment-41 Saeid Vehjati Tue, 25 May 2010 05:52:11 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=187#comment-41 Hi Tom, Great and reasonable action but this is 2010. Companies still lay off people. I was in a less severe situation and was hit back by a manager by "it's a no-job opening market out there and yet a nice time to be a manager. You make the call" . Meaning, either do it or get out. The original question converts into "do I keep my job or my ethics?". Thanks Hi Tom,
Great and reasonable action but this is 2010. Companies still lay off people.
I was in a less severe situation and was hit back by a manager by “it’s a no-job opening market out there and yet a nice time to be a manager. You make the call” . Meaning, either do it or get out.
The original question converts into “do I keep my job or my ethics?”.
Thanks

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]]> Comment on Thoughts on Being a Leader by Bob London http://www.tomchampoux.org/thoughts-on-being-a-leader.html/comment-page-1#comment-40 Bob London Tue, 04 May 2010 13:25:10 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=132#comment-40 Another challenge for leaders in moving toward coach and then mentor is the diverse demographics of the workforce. Those of the baby boomer and war generations who are not leaders are most comfortable seeking permission or running things up the chain of command. When given control they often times are very uncomfortable in their new role and the change puts them into their fear zone. It can take a lot of time and energy in training and coaching to keep them in their discomfort zone. Another challenge for leaders in moving toward coach and then mentor is the diverse demographics of the workforce. Those of the baby boomer and war generations who are not leaders are most comfortable seeking permission or running things up the chain of command. When given control they often times are very uncomfortable in their new role and the change puts them into their fear zone. It can take a lot of time and energy in training and coaching to keep them in their discomfort zone.

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]]> Comment on Thoughts on Being a Leader by Diana S http://www.tomchampoux.org/thoughts-on-being-a-leader.html/comment-page-1#comment-39 Diana S Mon, 03 May 2010 22:18:12 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=132#comment-39 I see this happening in a few organizations now. Working side by side with staff promotes an understanding and respect that can't be built from a desk. I see this happening in a few organizations now. Working side by side with staff promotes an understanding and respect that can’t be built from a desk.

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]]> Comment on Conflict: The 1st Step. Move Toward, Not Away by Tom Champoux http://www.tomchampoux.org/conflict-the-1st-step-gently-move-toward-not-away-from.html/comment-page-1#comment-38 Tom Champoux Tue, 27 Apr 2010 23:49:43 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=193#comment-38 Yes, there is. It also begets another question: “what do you do when you find yourself embroiled in this type of dialogue?” Let me answer the 1st question and then I will blog on the 2nd one. Frame of reference essentially means ‘through whose eyes are you looking and what do you see?’ If I look through my eyes I see one thing. If I could totally leave that perspective behind and come and look through your eyes, the view would be different. There is a story about an old man walking along a beach and throwing star fish left high and dry by the retreating tide back into the ocean. After watching him for awhile, a stranger asked him what he was doing. His reply was simple: “I am throwing these star fish back into the ocean so they don’t die up here on the beach.” The reply came quickly: “How can that make a difference, there are thousands of star fish here on the beach!” The old man paused, picked up another star fish, threw it back into the ocean, turned and looked at the stranger and said: “made a difference for that one.” It is always about frame of reference. Through whose eyes are you looking? If I only look through my eyes, my frame of reference, there is no question – “I’m right!” And that would be true…the surest way to ignite conflict is to deny that anyone else’s frame of reference is valid - and the data they see through their frame of reference is not valid either. The only avenue left to either of us is to defend our turf. I want to blog about another option. I think the title will be “Or I could…” Yes, there is. It also begets another question: “what do you do when you find yourself embroiled in this type of dialogue?” Let me answer the 1st question and then I will blog on the 2nd one.

Frame of reference essentially means ‘through whose eyes are you looking and what do you see?’ If I look through my eyes I see one thing. If I could totally leave that perspective behind and come and look through your eyes, the view would be different. There is a story about an old man walking along a beach and throwing star fish left high and dry by the retreating tide back into the ocean. After watching him for awhile, a stranger asked him what he was doing. His reply was simple: “I am throwing these star fish back into the ocean so they don’t die up here on the beach.” The reply came quickly: “How can that make a difference, there are thousands of star fish here on the beach!” The old man paused, picked up another star fish, threw it back into the ocean, turned and looked at the stranger and said: “made a difference for that one.”

It is always about frame of reference. Through whose eyes are you looking? If I only look through my eyes, my frame of reference, there is no question – “I’m right!” And that would be true…the surest way to ignite conflict is to deny that anyone else’s frame of reference is valid – and the data they see through their frame of reference is not valid either. The only avenue left to either of us is to defend our turf. I want to blog about another option. I think the title will be “Or I could…”

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]]> Comment on What Do We Want From Leaders? by Mona http://www.tomchampoux.org/what-do-we-want-from-leaders.html/comment-page-1#comment-37 Mona Tue, 27 Apr 2010 14:40:27 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=161#comment-37 I like that you mention that the role of the leader has shifted to being a learner and a teacher. It's not about the "knowing", it's about the "learning" and good thing too, because that is where all the fun lives! I like that you mention that the role of the leader has shifted to being a learner and a teacher. It’s not about the “knowing”, it’s about the “learning” and good thing too, because that is where all the fun lives!

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]]> Comment on Conflict: The 1st Step. Move Toward, Not Away by George http://www.tomchampoux.org/conflict-the-1st-step-gently-move-toward-not-away-from.html/comment-page-1#comment-36 George Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:23:42 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=193#comment-36 It seems like a lot of conflict increases because of misunderstanding around people's "frame of reference." Is there an effective way to understand this? It seems like a lot of conflict increases because of misunderstanding around people’s “frame of reference.” Is there an effective way to understand this?

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]]> Comment on How are Behavior Styles not stereotyping? by George http://www.tomchampoux.org/how-are-behavior-styles-not-stereotyping.html/comment-page-1#comment-35 George Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:19:07 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=212#comment-35 Most of these types of models are labeling - it's great to hear about one that isn't! Most of these types of models are labeling – it’s great to hear about one that isn’t!

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]]> Comment on Biggest insights from the work you do? by George http://www.tomchampoux.org/biggest-insights-from-the-work-you-do.html/comment-page-1#comment-34 George Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:16:36 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=164#comment-34 "There is a reason why we each do what we do." That sentence alone is worth a deep dive in the team...and at home. “There is a reason why we each do what we do.” That sentence alone is worth a deep dive in the team…and at home.

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]]> Comment on What Do We Want From Leaders? by George http://www.tomchampoux.org/what-do-we-want-from-leaders.html/comment-page-1#comment-33 George Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:13:25 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=161#comment-33 Two thumbs up on how being grounded is a lifetime process. So true! And so challenging and often unsupported in a culture where failure is not an option. Two thumbs up on how being grounded is a lifetime process. So true! And so challenging and often unsupported in a culture where failure is not an option.

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]]> Comment on The Power of One by George http://www.tomchampoux.org/the-power-of-one.html/comment-page-1#comment-32 George Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:09:39 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=146#comment-32 Good stuff! I've found that yesterday's success can become tomorrow's failure when we try and replicate it instead of continuing to learn and grow from it as we move forward. Good stuff! I’ve found that yesterday’s success can become tomorrow’s failure when we try and replicate it instead of continuing to learn and grow from it as we move forward.

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]]> Comment on Teams that Work by George http://www.tomchampoux.org/teams-that-work.html/comment-page-1#comment-31 George Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:06:22 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/test-7.html#comment-31 I especially relate to how all this allows the team to increase their ability to get results (number 5). When I've been on teams that are moving in the direction of this model we have always been more productive. I especially relate to how all this allows the team to increase their ability to get results (number 5). When I’ve been on teams that are moving in the direction of this model we have always been more productive.

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]]> Comment on First Things First by Sharon http://www.tomchampoux.org/first-things-first.html/comment-page-1#comment-30 Sharon Fri, 23 Apr 2010 02:55:57 +0000 http://lawyersocialmediamarketing.com/blog/?p=25#comment-30 So really it seems that when you have trust in a relationship, you are able to be fearless in your interactions with that person. So really it seems that when you have trust in a relationship, you are able to be fearless in your interactions with that person.

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]]> Comment on Conflict: The 1st Step. Move Toward, Not Away by Sharon http://www.tomchampoux.org/conflict-the-1st-step-gently-move-toward-not-away-from.html/comment-page-1#comment-29 Sharon Fri, 23 Apr 2010 02:53:05 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=193#comment-29 It would be ideal if both parties would remain calm....I have control over myself when it comes to conflict, but how can I ensure a calm approach for the person with whom I am in conflict It would be ideal if both parties would remain calm….I have control over myself when it comes to conflict, but how can I ensure a calm approach for the person with whom I am in conflict

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]]> Comment on The Power of One by Ali Rock http://www.tomchampoux.org/the-power-of-one.html/comment-page-1#comment-28 Ali Rock Tue, 20 Apr 2010 22:14:37 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=146#comment-28 The pride of lions analogy is perfect! I think that another important aspect that should not be ignored is recognition of each individual's "key role" in the greater goal. I'm really excited about Tom's blogs. I have been following Tom's advice for years and have benefited greatly from it. I look forward to the opportunity to absorb more of his wisdom. The pride of lions analogy is perfect! I think that another important aspect that should not be ignored is recognition of each individual’s “key role” in the greater goal. I’m really excited about Tom’s blogs. I have been following Tom’s advice for years and have benefited greatly from it. I look forward to the opportunity to absorb more of his wisdom.

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]]> Comment on Letting Go and Beginning Again by Diana http://www.tomchampoux.org/letting-go-and-beginning-again.html/comment-page-1#comment-27 Diana Tue, 20 Apr 2010 13:34:59 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=151#comment-27 Routine is comfort. You can count on it. It's sad to see that statistic. But I guess different things motivate different people. We need to find the ingnition switch for the crucible. Routine is comfort. You can count on it. It’s sad to see that statistic. But I guess different things motivate different people. We need to find the ingnition switch for the crucible.

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]]> Comment on Biggest insights from the work you do? by Amy http://www.tomchampoux.org/biggest-insights-from-the-work-you-do.html/comment-page-1#comment-26 Amy Mon, 19 Apr 2010 19:18:07 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=164#comment-26 I appreciate your comment about how we change as we move through our career and grow older (hopefully wiser.) Choosing to be in control of our our energy is so important. I appreciate your comment about how we change as we move through our career and grow older (hopefully wiser.) Choosing to be in control of our our energy is so important.

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]]> Comment on Teams that Work by Amy http://www.tomchampoux.org/teams-that-work.html/comment-page-1#comment-25 Amy Mon, 19 Apr 2010 19:10:20 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/test-7.html#comment-25 Often we are put together with people and the expectation is we trust and respect each other because we were both are "good at what we do." Time together is the only way we establish both trust and respect. Often we are put together with people and the expectation is we trust and respect each other because we were both are “good at what we do.” Time together is the only way we establish both trust and respect.

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]]> Comment on Conflict: The 1st Step. Move Toward, Not Away by DW http://www.tomchampoux.org/conflict-the-1st-step-gently-move-toward-not-away-from.html/comment-page-1#comment-24 DW Mon, 19 Apr 2010 16:48:57 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=193#comment-24 As difficult as conflict can be, moving toward it, is worth every bit of the discomfort in order to develop a trusting and respectful team. As difficult as conflict can be, moving toward it, is worth every bit of the discomfort in order to develop a trusting and respectful team.

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]]> Comment on Tom Champoux | Dynamic Speaker and Energizing Trainer by AG http://www.tomchampoux.org/tom-champoux-dynamic-speaker-and-energizing-trainer.html/comment-page-1#comment-23 AG Sat, 17 Apr 2010 23:55:06 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=43#comment-23 I like this, it is another way of saying, "take your eyes of yourself", when you do that you're able to adjust better and play for the win-win. I like this, it is another way of saying, “take your eyes of yourself”, when you do that you’re able to adjust better and play for the win-win.

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]]> Comment on How are Behavior Styles not stereotyping? by AG http://www.tomchampoux.org/how-are-behavior-styles-not-stereotyping.html/comment-page-1#comment-22 AG Sat, 17 Apr 2010 23:45:48 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=212#comment-22 It's great to be reminded how powerful we are and that the change we want from others is within ourselves. It’s great to be reminded how powerful we are and that the change we want from others is within ourselves.

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]]> Comment on How are Behavior Styles not stereotyping? by Barb http://www.tomchampoux.org/how-are-behavior-styles-not-stereotyping.html/comment-page-1#comment-21 Barb Sat, 17 Apr 2010 01:03:30 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=212#comment-21 I have found recently that when I can stop thinking about a co-worker in their primary style I get to see and enjoy the other quality's that they have. I have found recently that when I can stop thinking about a co-worker in their primary style I get to see and enjoy the other quality’s that they have.

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]]> Comment on Letting Go and Beginning Again by Terri http://www.tomchampoux.org/letting-go-and-beginning-again.html/comment-page-1#comment-7 Terri Tue, 06 Apr 2010 23:19:24 +0000 http://www.rorymartin.info/blog/?p=151#comment-7 I love your using the analogy of a crucible for organizational change. You're so right ". . . this transformation has nothing negative to say about the previous form." (!) Isn't it ironic that with the only constant of life being change that we are fundamentally afraid of it? I love your using the analogy of a crucible for organizational change. You’re so right “. . . this transformation has nothing negative to say about the previous form.” (!) Isn’t it ironic that with the only constant of life being change that we are fundamentally afraid of it?

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