Conflict Resolution Archive

Male and Female Brains: Behavioral Differences at Work

By
TomChampoux
Published: July 11, 2011Posted in: Conflict Resolution, Leadership Development, People Skills, Team DevelopmentTags:
Male and Female Brains: Behavioral Differences at Work

“There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to believe what is true.”  ~ Soren Kierkegaard

One of the great things about advancing technology is that it helps us answer the WHY questions.  Without these answers, speculation that reinforces one’s beliefs abounds…whether the speculation is right or wrong isn’t the point – historically, a position of power or a person’s social class provided credibility.  Not anymore.

For the last three years, I have been impressed with the work of Dr. John Medina, (BrainRules, 2008) the brain researcher who gained worldwide credibility for his work and research in the field of neuroscience. Early on in our relationship, I would ask Dr. Medina questions and sometimes get a response of “I don’t know.”  The quizzical look on my face was answered with, “Oh, I can tell you the commonly held belief, but unless I can prove it in the lab, my answer is ‘I don’t know’.”  A scientist to the very core.

Proudly, we at Effectiveness Institute  have collaborated with Dr. Medina to produce a webinar highlighting the differences between male and female brains and the implications it has for organizations and leadership. Click here for a preview.  As you watch and listen, I wonder if the question in the opening quote is true: “Will you continue to believe what is not true or will you refuse to believe what is true?” Or, will you find new thinking that allows you to maximize the strengths of male and female brains, particularly in the world of business.  Enjoy the journey.

Conflict: The 1st Step. Move Toward, Not Away

By
TomChampoux
Published: February 25, 2010Posted in: Conflict ResolutionTags: ,

Conflict resolution and conflict management are key skills that every employee, leader, and professional need to acquire.

Conflict is such an interesting concept. Most of us have little idea of how to enter into and successfully resolve the conflicts in our lives. It is not a wonder – there are few role models for us to emulate. The role models that do exist seem to suggest that increasing power or eliminating power (fight or flight) is the way to successfully engage with the conflict …at least it makes it go away. Unfortunately, neither of these tactics work as they are short term and the issue that caused the conflict does not get addressed.

Desired metaphor: Move toward the conflict and become one with it. Calm the conflict down inside yourself which allows the conflict to calm down inside the other person. Then, make a decision or take action where both people get to save face and win.

While this sounds very simplistic, it truly works (provided both parties are operating inside the range called “normal”). Let’s define some terms:

move toward the conflict… When there is an unmet expectation or a values violation (the source of the conflict), do not try to overpower or ignore…acknowledge by focusing attention and asking a question.

become one with it… Listen with empathy to discover and validate the other person’s perspective – this does not mean you agree with it or either of you is wrong. It means each of you understands the other’s frame of reference.

make a decision or take action… Maintaining the status quo does not address the conflict, so it does not go away. What are you willing to do to address your behavior or mindset so that the conflict does not stand in the way?

where both people get to save face and win… negotiate, compromise and find a solution – while it may not be the best – so both parties feel validated and “win” something. Conflict has now become a tool to gain the clarity that leads to the development of Trust and Respect.  Successful resolution of conflict is a responsibility that lies with both parties.  It is a training that needs to be required.  If skills are not learned, expect conflicts to be resolved by power or avoidance – a short-term focus that ultimately fails.