About Tom Archive

The purpose of this blog is to share stories, learnings and musings to stimulate the thinking, dialogue and questioning that is essential to professional and personal growth. My 6th grade teacher said it best: “…the journey is more important that the arriving.” Let’s journey on together…

A few basic rules to line the playing field of success is all it takes.  Here are my four:

1. Everything new needs a little TLC…a crop, an idea, a puppy, a relationship, a team – new does not know how to protect itself. A little TLC provides the safety net for something vulnerable to learn and grow. I know you don’t have time, but neither do I. If nobody has time, uh-oh! I guess we do have time.

2. Water runs downhill…whatever happens; there is a reason for it. I might not understand it or like it, but in the mind of the person, there is a reason…so provide the benefit of the doubt that the intention is good and search for the reasons driven by a positive intent. First learn; then teach. There is always more than one option and, clearly, some options are better than others.

3. There are Four Cornerstones that everything depends upon – whether it is a trellis in the field or a relationship with a friend…there is a need for a cornerstone. It provides strength to push against or pull away from, direction and courage to act.

• Trust – do what you say you will do. Others depend upon the truthfulness of your words so they can leverage their own strengths with your words to make a difference.
• Respect – develop the skills/competencies to provide quality in whatever you do. Quality makes for a solid foundation. Stay away from the loose sand that the rogue wave will ravage and redistribute. Learn strong skills that make saying “yes” and saying “no” easy so whatever you choose to build is strong.
• Dignity – honor others; expect everyone to save face. “Right or wrong, good or bad” are not the drivers. Making yourself right by making someone else wrong is not a good thing. The key variable is much higher order and allows for dignity. “Is this decision or action appropriate based upon our values and the key variables?” It is about appropriate or inappropriate; not right or wrong. Leave others a Way Out With Dignity (W.O.W.D.) and truly collaborate as you compete.
• Integrity – Make sure beliefs and perceptions align with words and actions. If a building has structural integrity, it stands up. Not just one day, but every day. My words have to stand up every single day, not just when it is easy, but every single day. There is always something we can do – ask tough questions without judgment, be a truth teller when it is difficult, provide a nod of the head when someone is discouraged or create a W.O.W.D. when one is so badly needed.

4. There is a responsibility for Give-Back…everyone needs a little help at some time or another. No matter how much you have or don’t have, there is someone who would be grateful and appreciative of your give-back. Be the teacher, the coach, the shoulder to lean on, the smile, the compassionate truth teller – for it is easier and more satisfying to be a gift-giver that a gift-receiver. When you give away some of your light to light another’s candle, there is not less light but more light.

Some 50 years later, the basics are still the same. The move from the classroom to corporate did not change the bottom-line motivators:

1. People want to do good – a sense of efficacy.

2. People want to make a difference – a sense of generativity.

3. People want to be trusted.

4. People want to be respected

5. People want to experience personal dignity every single day.

I am amazed repeatedly at the insight and intuition of young people. At the age of 12, I thought being a teacher was the best thing that could happen in a person’s life. What greater calling could there be than helping others learn and make that marvelous sound out-loud….aahhhh. Some 50 years later, watching the “lights go on” in someone’s eyes as they tilt their head slightly backwards is still an amazing event. The trick, then, is to be silent, to move gently to the side so an idea can launch. My 6th grade teacher was that difference maker for me…..and I am still trying to pass that gift on to others.

Growing up in a large family on a farm was the best training for me. Taught me most of the skills that serve me today. Didn’t know that at the time, but it is true. Preparing the fields, planting, irrigating, driving a tractor while cultivating or plowing, milking the cows, feeding the horses, changing oil in a motor, learning to drive a 10 wheeler, backing a tractor with a piece of equipment around a corner, weeding the garden or harvesting a crop – all helped develop the necessary basic skills: planning, discipline, perseverance, caring, hard work, helping out, problem solving, following through, celebrating – and then resting and starting over again in the Spring. Life has seasons too!

Today, people would not call me a “teacher” in the traditional sense of the word, but I truly believe that no matter what you call it – consultant, trainer, facilitator – I am first and foremost a Teacher. I believe it to be a noble role…a good teacher can change lives.

At the Effectiveness Institute, I work each day to cause 5 motivators to be alive in every person. The fascinating discovery to me is these motivators are not goals to be set and achieved. They are the residual left over when people work together. More specifically: trust, respect, dignity, efficacy and generativity are a direct result of how we treat each other. It goes back to those long ago lessons learned on the farm – whether working in corporate America or private America, with big companies or small, with CEO’s or Olympic athletes; being clear with the agenda, persistent in the effort, focused on results and respectful in our interactions – allows each of us to be a difference maker.